Indeed! Joy, happiness, harmony is as natural in relationships as breathing is, in relation to self.
Then why do most of us experience hurt, sadness, anxiety, stress and sometimes struggle in our relationships? Because of some myths and flaws in our understanding of relations.
One of the biggest flaw is we try too hard to get happiness, joy and reach harmony in relationships. We have certain agendas, expectations with our spouse, our children, our siblings and even friends. To fulfil our agendas. we try many things; some of them work and most don’t.
We try to make each other happy by doing certain things; there’s nothing bad about that. The only problem is when we or other person is not able to do that, we’re unhappy. That leads us to the truth-
“You can not make each other happy.”
The moment we understand our happiness is the best gift we can give to other, we can stop trying so hard and just be happy. Yes! really happy with no complaints and grudges.
That leads to the second flaw trying to change other person so you can be happy. What kind of relationship is that? That’s more like trading; if you become or behave a certain way, I’ll be happy.
In our effort to change or make other person a better version, we indulge into nagging, controlling and wonder why they’re not able to understand simple needs. That leads to another truth –
“Relationships don’t need any agendas for them to flourish.”
Everything in nature is in a harmonious relationship – earth, sun, stars and trees have no agendas.
The moment we drop the agendas and open our heart to other person, we’re so able to extend the tender love and compassion we all hold in our heart and are looking for outside. And so we receive that too.
In an open accepting heart; joy, happiness & harmony blossoms naturally, while in a stressed and criticised heart, only resentment and bitterness grows.
So we just need to drop the efforts, the ‘if’s and ‘but’s and tune into our natural state of joy and harmony.
It sounds quite simple; isn’t it. Why do we complicate 🙂
If you have a story of returning back to natural harmony, please share. I would love to hear.
Much Love.