Are you being present in your life? What does presence mean anyway?
Sharing a client’s coaching conversation here (with her permission) name changed as per her suggestion.
Nikita (client): I feel so lost now-a-days. I don’t know myself any more…what I like, what I enjoy, what I want – I know nothing.
I have no energy to do anything…feel like a zombie…waking up, just doing work what I am supposed to do till I am exhausted.
And then when there’s nothing else to do…I feel this vacuum, the loneliness…where I am stuck like a caged bird and there is nowhere to go…no one to go to…
Coach (me): So what does this caged bird want to do?
N: I don’t know. Nothing. There is no direction…no door.
C: What is the bird doing currently?
N: She is struggling, resisting, agonising…trying to cope as well…
C: What does she really want in life?
N: To be set free with the love of someone…
C: What will that love give her?
N: Freedom, happiness…satisfaction, significance that her needs are being met.
C: How can she be so sure that all her needs will be fulfilled by that someone?
N: Hmmm…she is not so sure but she is desperate.
C: What is the bird not able to see in her desperation? Could there be another way to freedom and happiness, might not be as obvious as someone opening the door of the cage?
N: Might be!
C: If there was a door but nobody to open it, how would that open?
N: The bird could open the door herself! (Light bulb moment)
C: What does she need to open this door?
N: Believe in herself and in the fact that no saviour is going to come to set her free. She is the Hero she’s been waiting for!
Silence!!
N: That’s it! (smile) I get it. “If there was anybody keeping me stuck in this cage, it was no one else but me.
C: If there is anything missing in your life at all what is that?
N: Me!
C: How can you bring yourself back in your life again? What qualities you can evoke in yourself to bring your 100% presence in your own life?
N: Being aware of my thoughts and feelings, my senses and my intuition… find my own mojo!
To know myself what I enjoy, what brings a smile to my face. What I really care for and what brings joy to my soul…to enjoy my own company for the first time and not being scared of being alone.
Wonderful! Let’s talk about the action plan you want to follow…
“When I am being present and fully aware in my life, I realise there’s no one else out there, to blame for or to make me happy. It’s all between “real me” and “who I thought I am.”
Do you also feel you are not being present in your life, share how can you be more present in your own life and experience it to the full?
I look forward to hearing from you.
Much Love.