Why I’m learning the Art of Doing Nothing and You should too.

What did you do on your break? A friend asked me.

 

I was Doing Nothing, actually learning the “Art of doing nothing”

 

Art of…doing what? Nothing?

She was feeling a bit bewildered now (and I don’t blame her).

Doing Nothing, seems like being a lazy lass / lad, lying on the couch, doing what – just nothing.

 

The truth is, it’s not at all easy for us, for a generation of human doings, who are so deeply conditioned to achieving. All the time.

 

Most of us are productivity addicts. We have a lot on our plate – long to-do lists, duties, responsibilities, social life, online social life, and we try to fill every moment of our time with something.

If not, then we’re planning our next goal or action and often mindlessly scrolling through social media, many times without even realising it.

 

If we’re not achieving something, we feel as if we’re wasting our time and feel so guilty about that.

We rarely give ourselves time to do just nothing.

 

Have you noticed that we approach everything from a place of having an agenda, a need to get something out of anything?

 

We work because we want satisfaction, money, recognition, or more.

We make sure to have 10000 steps, so we can stay fit.

We meet people with some kind of agenda, whether to learn, to sell, to gain something or exchange ideas…

We write so we can post and share our knowledge with others.

 

Now a days, people even go on social media not just simply connect but to get validation, many times they comment and like other’s posts with a reason (unconscious or conscious), to get likes and comments their posts too.

Even the act of non-doing, like meditation has an agenda – to achieve peace, focus, happiness or nirvana.

Isn’t that so ironical?

 

By the way, there’s nothing wrong with having agendas, until we realise that every thing in our life is driven from agendas, whether it’s work, conversations, meetings or social media… almost everything.

 

The problem starts when our mind becomes accustomed to think in terms of outcomes and agendas, all the time.

 

It’s only when we drop the agendas, or they naturally fall apart, that we start to experience new insights and perspectives on life.

 

Think, when was the last time you were just being, and not doing any thing?

 

Like, just lounging, staring at your ceiling, watching nature, or your dog or any other thing for that matter?

Just sitting and enjoying the music, without making any plans in your head?

Just playing or exploring something for the sake of exploring, as little kids do?

 

I noticed my pre-occupation with agendas, being busy with work and being productive, all the time.

Once I heard from one of my mentors – Every year, Do something different.

 

Something radical that you’ve never done before. Something out of your comfort zone, that you might not usually think of doing…

 

So I decided to do something Radical during this summer break that I haven’t done before.

I decided to take ‘a complete break’ from work & digital world’ for 4 weeks, to learn *Niksen*. It’s a dutch word for “The Art of Doing Nothing”.

 

I’d taken shorter breaks before, though mostly for travel or family functions, or for digital detox but never a long one to just do nothing.

 

It didn’t mean that I’ll be sitting on my couch all day and not do anything during my break.

 

“The idea was to live Agenda-less” and the inspiration came from a “Deep Transformational Coaching course” I recently was a part of.

 

One of the practices to become a Deep coach is to Release all agendas. And I started to notice how my days were so filled with agendas.

 

Every thing had some agenda, whether I was writing, having conversations, or meeting people.

Even reading had an agenda like, to learn something, and may be to utilise that learning in my work later.

 

I started to wonder what happened to doing things just for the fun of it, as we used to do as children?

So here came the inspiration and as they say, “when you desire something with all your heart, the whole universe conspires to make that happen”.

I couldn’t have imagined that with the number of personal clients I work with, It was ever possible to manage a long break, till I shared this with my clients and everything fell in place.

 

I was excited for my break like a little child and had no idea what to expect.

 

The intention was to just be, relax, follow my heart’s desires, and savour every moment.

 

The first week was weird!

 

No to-do list, no plan – my mind kept wandering what to do.

 

I had FOMO (fear of missing out), and I kept picking up my phone just to wonder what to do with it, as I had deleted all my social media apps, and even outlook from my phone to avoid any temptation to check anything.

 

Slowly, I started to settle into this relaxation zone…

 

The only Book I read was – The Art of Doing Nothing” and loved it. I followed few things suggested in the book.

 

I lounged, just sitting, looking out of window – it was so so relaxing looking at greenery, birds, plants and kids playing in the garden.

 

I slowed down a lot, noticed I was breathing deeply, as I had no rush.

 

I spent time playing with my dog, chatting with my girls, did cooking, cleaning (my wardrobes and drawers are so happy and shining 🙂

 

Please know that Doing nothing doesn’t mean lying down or being lazy all day. It’s also not mindfulness, focusing on the moment, heightening your sense awareness or meditation.

 

It’s just about relaxed presence, just being where you are, without being in a certain way or focusing on certain thing.

There are no rules – that’s the only rule!

It was pretty strange for my learning mind. As I am a person who likes to be on the top of things, who has high expectations from myself, always learning something (if not coaching or teaching others 🙂

 

So it was hard to just be, and not consciously demand anything out of me.

 

I reminded myself often, I am just relaxing.

 

I indulged in deep self-care – self-massaged, danced, listened to music, poetry, scrolled through some old magazines, just for fun. 

 

What I loved the most – when friends called, I was always free to talk and listen. There was no rush.

This month took me back to my childhood time, when we used to spend afternoons and evenings under the vast sky, just lying around, chatting, sharing stories, eating or star gazing – doing nothing, being carefree.

 

The biggest perk of this Radical break was almost negligible use of my phone.

 

I used my phone for the purpose it was built – to call. That was 10 -15 min per day most of the days. And on certain days, especially, on my travel, I didn’t use my phone at all, not even for pictures. It’s great that my husband and daughters love clicking, so I didn’t need to 🙂   

 

Here’s what started to happen… slowly…

 

I started to notice in just few weeks that my breathing slowed down, my body and heart felt more relaxed and I felt so much calmer without making any effort.

 

I feel that the break from digital world and phone brought a lot of stillness in my mind, my thoughts and worries subsided.

 

I felt a deep sense of calm and expansion in my being and want to continue this journey of phone and digital minimalism.

 

Before my break I was a bit worried and stressed due to some family member’s health issues.

Though by the end I realised that my worries started to vanish and I felt a deep spaciousness in my being, faith and surrender to the life, just like homecoming to me…

This was a deep nourishment for my heart, mind, body and soul.

Even though I missed my coaching and writing; a part of me didn’t want to come back.

 

I’ve answered all the questions about how I managed this break here in the video below:

https://www.linkedin.com/posts/lifecoachdrsalonisingh_questions-break

 

As I returned to work and the online world, my intention is to make time for being agenda-less every day for few minutes during my breaks, while working full-time (for at least a whole year), so it becomes a natural way of being, for me.

 

I believe that – “How will we know what life and universe are capable of doing, if we never give life a chance and always try to control the actions and outcomes?”

 

Universe showered me with deep tranquility and peace during this time and a long list of people wanting to connect with me and do business with me.

 

I feel so rested, loved, deeply connected to myself and the source and ready to take on the world, spreading my love and joy to all…

 

You can read more about Niksen in this wonderful blog here: https://www.nbcnews.com/what-is-niksen

 

If you want to try a Niksen break, follow your heart and trust things will fall in place for you.

 

Do not hesitate if you have any questions or want to chat about this with me, I’d be happy to connect.

 

Much love,

Saloni