A friend recently shared with me the dilemma of being present.
He said he mostly lives in his mind… but he’s really trying to be here.
Trying to be fully present, mindful, more aware, as a person, as a father, as a husband.
And I could feel the sincerity in that. Also… the quiet exhaustion behind it.
Have you ever felt that too?
Trying to be here… but not quite landing here.
It looks like you’re present. But inside, something is still running – thinking, fixing, moving ahead.
So the question is… Is being here actually something you can do by trying?
“We are here to be here.”
But what if being here isn’t the result of effort?
What if it’s what remains… when effort falls away?
Because the moment you say, “I’m trying to be present”…
there is already someone trying.
Trying to get somewhere.Trying to become something.
May be even trying to fix the now.
And that “someone”… is the very thing that keeps you slightly away from the truth of this moment.
The invitation is simple, though not always easy.
Drop that someone.
Drop the trying.
And just… relax.
Not just mentally. But deeper than that.
Relax inside your body. Inside your breath.
Inside your being. Let your whole system soften. Every layer that is subtly holding, controlling, managing.
And in that softening… something beautiful happens.
You don’t become present. Presence begins to reveal itself.
Because it was never missing.
We are just so conditioned to put efforts. To achieving. To attaining. To becoming.
We’ve unknowingly turned even presence into a goal. Something to reach. Something to master.
But being here is not an accomplishment. It’s what is already happening when you’re not trying to get somewhere,
or get away from something, or even trying to understand anything.
It just is.
Let’s pause together for a moment… right now.
Stop reading for a second. Take a breath… and gently sense into this moment.
Feel your body. Notice your breath.
Listen… not just with your ears, but with your whole being.
What’s here?
Is there any agitation? Restlessness?
A subtle resistance to what is?
Is your mind pulling you somewhere else – into a task, a memory, a plan? Or is there a quiet ease?
Now take a small step back… and notice the quality of your attention itself.
Not what you’re noticing… but how you’re noticing.
There’s a certain relaxed alertness that appears.
A soft, steady focus. A sense of aliveness.
Recognise that. Feel that. That… is being here.
You might notice that everything around you feels a little more vivid.
Colours slightly brighter. Sensations clearer.
Even the ordinary might feel… more alive.
Sometimes, there’s even a sense of awe.
Like you’ve just woken up into the moment.
And sometimes… along with that aliveness, there may also be discomfort.
Unsettled feelings. Energy moving. Let that be there too.
Presence doesn’t filter your experience. It allows all of it.
And then, naturally… the mind will wander again.
It will drift into thinking, analysing, daydreaming.
That’s okay. Don’t judge.
You don’t have to correct it. You don’t have to do it better.
Just gently notice… and come back. With gentle kindness, with tenderness.
As you keep coming back to the moment, slowly something shifts.
The “occupied mind self” – the one constantly doing, managing, trying, begins to loosen.
And in its place… you feel something more real.
A quiet connection in the heart. A sense of peace that doesn’t need a reason. An ease in simply being.
Your presence… is already here.
And then you begin to see this clearly: How you pay attention is more important than anything that’s happening.
It’s not about what’s happening in your life that shapes your experience. It’s the quality of your attention to it.
The same moment can feel heavy… or spacious.
Tight… or flowing.
Not because the moment changed, but because your way of meeting it changed.
When you stop resisting what is, stop trying to control or fix your experience; you become the space where life can move freely.
Like a breeze passing through an open window. Nothing stuck. Nothing held. Just experienced.
So I’m curious…
Did you try this with me?
Even for a few seconds, did you sense that aliveness?
Are you being here… right now?
I’d love to hear what you noticed.
much love,
Saloni
Embodied Leadership Presence Coach ✨