We are all getting used to the ‘new normal’ in this World Pandemic 2020.
Managing household, children, either working from home or preparing to start going to work soon.
And most of us are constantly multi-tasking…
As parents, we juggle between taking care of the kids, household chores and work, while worrying about our family’s safety.
We juggle so many balls in the air and feel proud about being a ‘master juggler’ that we don’t realise that we are making our lives more chaotic.
I know as parents we have to manage so much but you might want to think twice before doing many things at once and diluting your attention from what truly matters.
Let’s say, you’ve kept your house clean, your kids are well fed and clothes are washed and placed in the cupboards… however if your children do not feel important and loved. Is it really worth it?
Researches show that quickly switching between tasks and focussing on many things together releases stress hormones and causes us to feel agitated and we naturally pass on the irritation to others around us.
However great we are, at keeping all the balls in air, we all have felt those moments of despair when we couldn’t handle it all, anymore.
Alas! the balls drop and we are faced with disappointment.
This multitasking habit we have, often causes more despair than joy, and affects the whole family.
“If you find your kids are becoming aggressive and rebellious, it is a desperate plea for your compassionate attention.”
If you notice your children do not share things with you; it is a red signal that connection is missing in your relationship.
It’s hard to parent anyway, and now that we’re faced with this crisis, this is another level to deal with. We are frustrated or scared or bored and our children often feel the same too.
When your spouse or child wants to share something with you, they just seek for one thing – your attention, not a superhuman; who can listen, answer, text, manage dinner, and also plan for next day, all at the same time.
What can happen in the midst of this crazy, dull, and perfectly chaotic life; a child might feel lost, less heard, not understood. A spouse might feel alone, due to lack of love and connection and life becomes just a chore of managing responsibilities. Isn’t it?
If your child or spouse complains that you’re always on phone or laptop, it is a warning to pause. Time for some change!
So what can we do? When there’s so much to manage?
Here are some simple tips:
1. Don’t pressurise yourself:
Go easy with life. Drop your fears. Lower your expectations.
Prioritise and cut down your to-do list to only important things.
Do one task at a time, finish one thing and then move to the next. You can time yourself and if it doesn’t get finished in the required time, you can finish it the next day if it’s not an urgent thing.
Give time to your family, and more importantly, give your undivided attention (without phone or gadgets); such attention for a short span is much better than spending distracted time for long.
2. Comparison spells catastrophe :
Comparing yourself with others, and always looking what others are doing is the recipe for disaster, and will lead you to a downward spiral.
You know that it’s their life and you need to lead your life your way, whichever way works for you.
There is no rule book for parenting, especially in these difficult times.
Be present and there for your family and really listen with your heart.
3. Take care of yourself:
Give yourself a break, this is new for you too.
Don’t lose yourself in this situation. Take time to relax, introspect, and be with yourself, which will help you slow down.
Listen to your inner voice that will guide you to what really matters to you and your family.
Sometimes our penchant of multitasking can take a toll on our lives and of our loved ones too. Beware of that!
What is your experience of handling many things together and multitasking as a parent, please feel free to share and also ask if you’ve any questions. I would love to hear from you.
Take care. Stay safe.
Much love.